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We all have a friend or family member who's endearingly off – indulge them by immortalizing their silly musical antics with lasers!
Lyrics are laser engraved on 4" cork squares and packaged in boxes of 6 with a special "original lyrics" sticker. Because these are made to order, please expect turnaround time to take up to 2 weeks.
Please include which 6 coasters you would like to receive in the notes box when you order. Include your own lyrics and round out your set with any of the following options:
grab your crotch
when you see tupac
- Hit ‘Em Up
this is the dawning
of the age of asparagus
asparagus
asparagus
- Aquarius
see that girl
watch her scream
kicking the dancing queen
- Dancing Queen
dirty deeds
done with sheep
dirty deeds
done with sheep
- Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
she was a fax machine
she kept her modem clean
- You Shook Me All Night Long
should i give up
or should i
just keep chasing penguins
- Chasing Pavements
it’s not fair
to deny me
of the cross-eyed bear
that you gave to me
- You Oughta Know
and even when your hope is gone
mow the lawn, mow the lawn
like i know you do
- Move Along
honestly, you promised me
i’m never gonna find your bacon
- Complicated
baking carrot biscuits
every day
baking carrot biscuits
every way
- Takin’ Care of Business
arm your penis
arm and fire
pure desire
- Venus
gladys on a mountaintop
burning like a silver flame
- Venus
looks like tomatoes
or i thought so ‘til today
- Looks Like We Made It
jo-jo was a man
before he was woman
- Get Back
i wanna hold your ham
i wanna hold your ham
i wanna hold your ham
- I Want to Hold Your Hand
suddenly someone is there
at the turnstyle
the girl with colitis goes by
- Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
something in the way she moos
attracts me like no other lover
- Something
she’s got a tick in her eye
and she don’t care
- Ticket To Ride
i'm a lizard baby
so why don’t you kill me
- Loser
more than a woman
banana woman to me
- More Than a Woman
steak and a knife
steak and a knife
ah ah ah ah
steak and a knife
- Stayin' Alive
got me hoping
you'll pay me right now
- Crazy in Love
i didn’t fart you liar
it was always burning
since the world’s been turning
- We Didn’t Start the Fire
you made the rice i made the gravy
but it just may be
the tuna fish
you’re looking for
- You May Be Right
got a kit kat
got a kit kat
kat, kat, kat
- Boom Boom Pow
the ants are my friends
blowing in the wind
- Blowing in the Wind
get up, stand up
stand up for your rice
- Get Up, Stand Up
i shot the sheriff
but i didn't
shoot him dead you see
- I Shot the Sheriff
shake and bake
and stick with her
- Halocene
it doesn’t make a difference
if we’re naked or not
- Livin’ On A Prayer
got a bushy head
it’s better than the rest
- Machinehead
near
far
wherever you are
i believe that
the hot dog
goes on
- My Heart Will Go On
i had some dreams
there were clowns in my coffee
clowns in my coffee
clowns and....
- You're So Vain
all i want is you
and the sexy hermit head
that we share
- All I want is You
rock the cat spa
rock the cat spa
- Rock The Casbah
been spending most our lives
giving other gangsters
hair advice
- Gangster's Paradise
don’t go out tonight
or a bum will take your lime
there’s a bad moon on the rise
- Bad Moon Rising
there's a bathroom on the right
- Bad Moon Rising
and you, of the tender years
can’t know the fears
that your elders screw by
- Teach Your Children
we’re up all night
to pet puppies
we’re up all night
to pet puppies
- Get Lucky
we slip and slide
as we fall in love
and i just can’t seem
to get it up
- Just Can’t Get Enough
i don’t think you’re ready
for fish jelly
- Bootylicious
my mama said
kangaroo love
no you'll just have to wait
- You Can’t Hurry Love
gimme the beach boys
to free my soul
- Drift Away
come on baby like my pie
- Light My Fire
the only one
who could ever reach me
was the son of a tree surgeon
- Son of a Preacher Man
on a dark desert highway
cool whip in my hair
- Hotel California
i’ve got
two chickens to paralyze
- Two Tickets to Paradise
b-b-b-bunny in a dress
- Bennie and the Jets
rocket man
burning all the shoes
i've ever owned
- Rocket Man
hold me closer tiny dancer
count the head lice
on the highway
- Tiny Dancer
hold me closer
tie me down, sir
- Tiny Dancer
hold me closer
tony danza
- Tiny Dancer
i wonder politely
why you’re in this world
- Your Song
well please don't ask me
what's on my mind
i'm a little mixed up
when i feel the wine
- All Shook Up
i'm friends with the mustard
that’s under my bed
- The Monster
sweet dreams are made of cheese
who am i to disagree
- Sweet Dreams
hot potatoes, hot potatoes
hot potatoes
hot potatoes, hot potatoes
hot potatoes
hot potatoes, hot potatoes
oh, oh, oh hot potatoes
- Rock Me Amadeus
big girl
small fry
- Big Girls Don’t Cry
you can get addicted
to a certain kind of sandwich
- Somebody That I Used To Know
you can get addicted
to a certain
kind of santas
- Somebody That I Used To Know
i wanna love you
the bear said
the bear said i can’t
- Hold My Hand
do you believe in miracles
well you're wrong
you sexy thing, you
sexy thang you
- You Sexy Thing
i want a new truck
one that won’t make me sick
- I Want a New Drug
i'm so fancy
can't you tast this goat
- Fancy
we be big pimpin'
spinach and cheese
- Big Pimpin
excuse me while i
kiss this guy
- Purple Haze
west virginia
mount your mama
- Country Roads
sandwich you need to say
sandwich you need to say
- Say
you want love
we'll make it
swim in a deep sea
of bacon
- Your Body is a Wonderland
it's a happy enchilada
and you think you're gonna drown
- That’s the Way that the World Goes ‘Round
seasick asian man
seasick asian man
- Secret Agent Man
they pay a pair of guys
to put up a parking lot
- Big Yellow Taxi
so now i come to you
with stumps for arms
- Open Arms
we’re off to see the lizard
the wonderful lizard of oz
- We’re Off to See the Wizard
i bet you're guessing
what's behind my back
- Sexy Back
i pee on my suit and tie
- Suit & Tie
do a little dance
make a little rum
italian ice!
italian ice!
- Get Down Tonight
the minute
you walk out that door
free snow cones
free snow cones
free snow cones
- Please Don’t Go
ohhhhhhh
dyslexics on fire
- Sex on Fire
r-r-r-rice aroma
- My Sharona
so we put our hands up
like the silly can holders
- Can’t Hold Us
though i try to hide
it’s clear
i wear goggles
when you are not here
- I Try
let me be your ruler, ruler
you can call me green bean
- Royals
wanna be a baller
shock collar
twenty upgrades on the impala
- Wanna Be a Baller
shorty want a pug
- Lollipop
last night
i dreamt of
some bagels
- La Isla Bonita
last night
i dreamt of
some pedro
- La Isla Bonita
like a virgin
touched for the 31st time
- Like A Virgin
wrapped up like a douche
another boner in the night
- Blinded By the Light
darling,
you’re so great
i can’t wait
for you to ovulate
- Sexual Healing
exercise
lose those thighs
- Enter Sandman
a bit of cheese is not my lover
- Billie Jean
i never hit so hard in love
all i wanted
was to break your arms
- Wrecking Ball
come
get your free gum
come
get your free gum
- Get Ur Freak On
then i saw her face
now i'm gonna leave her
without a trace
of doubt in my mind
- I'm a Believer
your grace is wasted
in your face
your boner stands alone
among the wreck
- Little Lion Man
i want a duck
shaped like a triangle
you give a
toaster to bob
- Closer
my whole existence is flan
- Closer
with this salad it’s less dangerous
here we are now with potatoes
with a mars bar and potatoes
and some salad and potatoes
- Smells Like Teen Spirit
i'm just a squirrel
i'd rather not be
cause they won't let me drive
late at night
- Just a Girl
thank god it's friday night
and i just got laid
- Just Got Paid
shake it
like a polar bear ninja
- Hey Ya!
hit me with your pet shark
- Hit Me With Your Best Shot
every time you go
you take a little
piece of meat with you
- Every Time You Go Away
can’t find the butter, man
- Better Man
terribly spoken, spoken
terribly spoken, spoken
terribly spoken
blasphemy
- Jeremy
she's an easy llama
she'll take your heart
but you won't feel it
she's like no other
- Easy Lover
whoa-oh-oh-oh
i just wanna feel this mole man
- Feel This Moment
ghost man so
ghost man so
ghost man so close to me
- Don’t Stand So Close to Me
got mud on your face
you big disgrace
kicking your cat
all over the place
- We Will Rock You
let’s pee in the corner
let’s pee in the spotlight
losing my religion
- Losing My Religion
we found love in a soapless place
- We Found Love
might as well face it
you’re a dick with a glove
- Addicted to Love
baby, can you breed
a cactus from jamaica
- Blurred Lines
i always feel like
somebody's washing meat
- Somebody’s Watching Me
i’ll never leave
your pizza burnin’
- Beast of Burden
it must have been love
but i’m sober now
- It Must Have Been Love
only balogna
no, this feeling ain’t right
- Only the Lonely
if you like bean enchiladas
and getting caught in the rain
- Escape
whose bed
have your boobs been under
- Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under
rollin' down the street
smokin' indoors
sippin' on gin and juice
- Gin and Juice
i know what
a prison lover ought to be
- Two Princes
pulling muscles for michelle
- Pulling Mussels
you wish you had a motor boat
to cruise around the hornball
- Pulling Mussels
we built this city
on sausage rolls
- We Built this City
just like a one-winged dove
sings a song
sounds like she’s singing
- Edge of Seventeen
everybody run
barbie’s got a gun
- Creep
got a lot of
starbucks lovers
they'll tell you
i'm insane
- Blank Space
i've got sunshine
on a cloudy day
with my girl
i've even got the muffins made
with my girl
- My Girl
hush, hush
keep it down now, voiceless gary
- Voices Carry
don’t call jason waterfalls
- Waterfalls
she’s a good girl
loves her mama
loves cheez-its
and america too
- Free Fallin’
i left some brains
down in africa
- Africa
hold the line
love is a four-way stop sign
- Hold the Line
it’s alright
it’s alright
it’s alright
shamu the mysterious whale
- Mysterious Ways
hey white amigo
- Brown-Eyed Girl
raised in the woods
so he knew ev'ry tree
killed in a bar
when he was only three
- The Ballad of Davy Crockett
no one knows what it’s like
to be the batman
- Behind Blue Eyes
life would be ecstasy
you and me and leslie
- Groovin’
it's the time
for the season finale
- Time of the Season
they'll tell you i'm insane
- Blank Space
she’s a good girl
loves her mama
loves cheez-its
and america too
- Free Fallin’
** Please use the 'Order Notes' field to let us know which 6 lyrics you'd like in your coaster set **
